DREX: This is a story about my life.
never thought very much about it.
I always assumed I'd end up pretty much like the people you see here.
Get up, go to work, eat, sleep.
Lather, rinse, repeat.
Yeah, I didn't give life or anything else,
to be completely honest, much thought.
I'm just not what you'd call a deep thinker.
So, before that fateful day,
I didn't think much about what my life meant.
But that morning felt a little off.
I was... What's the word? Philosophical?
Yeah, that was the first day I wondered about how my life would turn out.
I guess I should have thought about that sooner.
And then I woke up, woke up dead.
You know, they really need to put a zipper on the inside of this thing.
I can't be the first guy who's ever been
zipped up in a body bag by mistake.
What are you doing here? I'm calling security.
No, Cassie, don't. Wait, wait.
How do you know my name?
Back when I went to SC. I'm Drexel Greene.
I used to see you on campus all the time.
Oh, my God, you're stalking me!
No, I'm not stalking you.
What are you doing in that bag? I could've...
Look, it started last night.
I was at this party in Venice, and...
I was there with my girlfriend, Debbie Kliner, and...
My roommate, Matt, filmed the whole thing.
I'm gonna zoom in and then you just show me some boob.
Matt. Hey.
What's up, dude?
Oh, not much. Just got bitch punched, that's all.
How am I supposed to make something called
SoCal Chicks and Tits sans tits?
What's wrong with you? You look terrible.
I have a terrible headache. Hey, have you seen Debbie?
I want to get out of here.
Debbie?
Deb? Debbie!
Oh, yeah. Money shot.
Drex?
MATT: That's gotta burn, man. Oh, crap!
I'm sorry.
Man, I'm sorry about what just happened.
Hey, hey, just don't block the shot. Okay.
Whoa, dude, are you okay?
Splitting headache.
Here.
This will straighten you out.
Oh, that's so nice. What a kind gesture, huh?
That's it. Get back into that.
Yeah, feel it.
Can I see a little cleave? That's the stuff.
Um, do you guys mind if I get in there with you?
'Cause it'll just give me a better angle.
Feel free to touch it if you have the urge.
Sweetie... Okay, whoa!
You took a pill from a guy you met at a party
who was making out with your girlfriend?
Okay. So, she technically wasn't my girlfriend or anything.
Okay, so what does this have to do with you winding up in a body bag?
Went back to the apartment and my head was still burning.
So, I jumped in the tub, and took a cold bath.
This is what it looks like. Romance, dead in the water.
Oh, Drex, you didn't have to do this.
Yes, Debbie betrayed you but you didn't have to take it this far, man.
Dude, what the hell? I'm drowning and you're making a YouTube video out of it?
You weren't drowning. You were drowned.
You've been under there for like, 15 minutes.
What? No!
Yes.
Dude, you were dead.
It's impossible. Are you high? I'm not dead.
You were dead.
And then you got up.
Holy shit, Drex!
You're the living dead.
You're a zombie!
All right.
I'm naked.
Can you sit up a little for me?
He said you were a zombie?
Or the living dead or whatever.
He said it'd be good for his Web site.
Oh, my God. Wokeupdead.tv.
That could be the name of the Web site.
So, this is a publicity stunt?
I wish.
It's real.
Leave me alone.
Your death, the birth of my film career.
This is great. My roommate's turning into an effing zombie.
Stop filming me!
Oh, come on, man. This is gold.
Zombie eating. Take One.
I'm not a zombie.
All I know is if you're dead, but still walking,
then that inherently makes you a zombie. It's just logical.
And so commercial.
I'm not a zombie, all right? And there's nothing wrong with...
Okay, I just vomited in my mouth.
That's the sickest thing I've ever seen in my life.
But thank you, Kodak, for making splash resistance.
Buddy, if you need to do that again,
could you just give me a little warning so that I can zoom out?
I'm just gonna get some fresh air.
Okay, that sounds good.
But would you mind first cleaning up this...
Uh, what you... What you sicked.
DREX: So, I went for a walk.
To think about life, to shake off the weirdness and start the day.
Zombie! Yeah, right.
And you know the rest. I didn't get very far.
Drex, whatever's going on with you,
I'm sure there's an explanation.
Like what?
In this case, it could be Hypothermic Hemostasis.
Hypodermic... What?
It's a condition where extreme cold slows the body functions down
to a level that could look like death.
Kind of like when a kid is ice skating and falls through the ice,
and then gets frozen for 15 minutes.
So, I just thawed out, I could be fine?
Yeah. Wait.
No, they thought I was dead, too.
Who's they?
The paramedics. Right after I was hit by the bus.
Why would they think that?
Nothing.
Look, I think something really bad is wrong with me.
Can you help me?
I promise, Drex, I'll try.
CASSIE: Didn't you think to get him out of there?
He wasn't breathing, okay? I figured he was dead,
and that he had some weird disease or germs.
So I didn't want to touch him.
Well, thanks. I'm not dead, or dying, or anything, you know.
I just overslept.
In the tub. How long do you think he was in there?
At least, uh, 15 minutes.
DREX: Cassie was all over the upload,
I guess she wanted to make sure it wasn't fake.
She kept asking to see more.
I think Matt was interested in seeing more of Cassie.
Jeez, big surprise there.
I think it might be Hypothermic Hemostasis.
Oh, you mean just like that movie
where those guys thawed out that caveman from the ice and he was fine.
Iceman? No, Dinosaurus.
Yes, but Drex, the difference is
you were not in a block of ice.
You were in a cold bath.
Hypo... whatever doesn't explain why you weren't breathing for over 15 minutes.
Listen to yourself. You sound disappointed, like I might be okay.
Relax, you're not okay.
So, it's possible I could be perfectly fine, right?
We have to explore every option.
We should start with what you remember.
We need to talk to mystery pill guy.
Oh, well, I don't really remember what he looks like.
We could look at the video.
You recorded that, too?
Oh, yeah. I posted it last night.
What
It got 37,000 hits.
What? Put it on.
DREX: Debbie!
Drex?
MATT: That's gotta burn, man. DREX: Oh, crap.
DEBBIE: I'm sorry.
MATT: Can I see a little cleave? That's the stuff.
Um, do you guys mind if I get in there with you?
'Cause it'll just give me a better angle.
Hey, I'm sorry.
Why? You didn't do anything.
No, I know. I'm just practicing my bedside manner.
Doctors are supposed to sound like they care, so...
How did I do?
Not bad, I guess.
Good. Look, maybe you're right.
Maybe you're fine, but we have to make sure.
Wait. Is that more practicing sounding like you care?
Does it matter? A little.
In the morning we should go back to the hospital and run some tests.
Maybe you could see my teacher.
No. No more hospitals or doctors, all right?
Those EMT guys said I was dead. They put me in a body bag.
All right. So, then, first thing tomorrow
we'll go out and look for mystery pill guy.
I can't. I have a job interview.
I have student loan payments due
and I don't have rich parents like Matt.
I've got an idea.
We could make a Web site about your condition, and make money that way.
No, thanks. I'll take a job.
Do you want to watch them make out again?
On the video?
Was that a yes?
DREX: My life was turning into weird central.
I needed to get back to normal Iife.
Yeah, get a job in the morning like a normal person.
Nothing was wrong with me.
Oh. I'm not fine.
Rush hour. Eight million people going to work in LA.
And today, I join them.
Today, I will become normal.
Hey, that Cassie chick was pretty cute.
Is she coming back?
After her shift, I think.
And she's not cute, she's a doctor.
A medical student is not a doctor.
And a dork with a video camera is not a director.
Oh, my God. I was pwned.
I'm gonna be late.
The Late Drex Greene.
That's a really good name for a Web site.
Goodbye. Yeah, you're right.
What about drexgreeneisapussy.u?
'Cause that's what you're being right now.
Or zombiepussy.drex.
DREX: InfoCorps, one of those giant, soulless buildings
that just screams, you know, "Home."
So, basically, this is your first real job, isn't it?
No, I... Well, there is that one time, um, I...
Yes.
DREX: Gosh, I hate this feeling.
Wait, what if Matt was right?
What would Zombie Drex do?
He wouldn't just sit here.
No.
INTERVIEWER: Drugs?
Drugs?
Do you have a drug problem, Mr. Greene?
Uh, no.
No, I don't take drugs, sir... Uh, ma'am.
You had good grades,
and enough classes for three majors...
Well, you know, I was trying to go
for that whole Renaissance Man thing, you know?
Jack of all trades?
Mmm
My mother used to say that all the time.
Well, maybe your mama was on to something.
Welcome to InfoCorps, Mr. Greene. Don't screw it up.
Ah, this is our data entry section, Mr. Greene.
The very heart and soul of InfoCorps empire.
Ah, Drex, Andrew Batten.
He's been with us for six years. He'll get you up to speed.
Uh, hey, Andy. Drex.
What do you know about data processing, Greene?
Uh, we process data into the computer.
At InfoCorps, we process personal data
for a myriad of industrial clients.
State, local, federal,
medical, law enforcement, military, educational.
If there's any information a corporation needs,
InfoCorps can provide it.
Dude, that was awesome. You said it just like in the brochure.
Yeah, that's right.
Turn on your computer.
On your right, you'll find your client files.
When you're finished, put them in the box
on the left side of your desk.
Barbara comes by and picks up the finished ones.
And listen, keep your hands off Barbara.
She's mine.
Did I mention a thing about Barbara?
Uh, yeah. Twice.
Oh, Greene...
Oh, hey. You're on my screen, too.
Cool. Yes, we're all on the same server.
So, you can IM any employee and any employee can IM you.
That includes the people upstairs.
The Man. So, no porn.
What the hell is going on, Greene?
Nothing. I, uh, just...
The monitor is awesome. It's just so rad.
I've never worked with such an amazing piece of hardware before.
I'm so pleased that you like it.
DREX: How could somebody connected to this computer network
know I woke up dead? That would mean... No.
I probably just imagined that Pittsburgh666 message.
It's just hypothermia, right?
CASSIE: What are you filming?
MATT: No, nothing. I'm not filming anything yet.
just adjusting the settings, you know, white balance.
Whatever that is.
Okay, and action.
Hi, I'm Cassie, and I'm a med student.
And I'm planning to specialize in neuropathology.
MATT: Right. And that's like having sex with dead people?
That's necrophilia.
Neuropathology is a study of disease in the nervous system tissue...
Are you filming my cleavage?
What? Ew, that's sick.
Can you just arch your back a little bit?
Hey. MATT: Oh.
I take it you got the job.
How was your first day?
Monotonous, soul killing.
What are you guys doing?
I'm helping Matt with his documentary.
Are you feeling better today?
Um, yeah.
Actually, I think that hypnotherapy is helping...
Hypothermia. Oh.
I brought some gear home from the hospital,
so, I figured if hospitals make you freak, we can run the tests here.
Right now, all I can think about is I'm starved.
MATT: Hey, come on, I've got some mac and cheese in here.
Yes!
Mmm. Look at what we've got here. Yummy, right?
Yes. Mac and cheese.
...Protein and carb.
What the F? You knew he was gonna do that!
That is not fair. I did not know he was gonna do it,
but I was hoping he would, yeah.
I can't keep anything down.
Oh, wait. You know what? I totally forgot.
I've got some of my nana's meatloaf in the fridge.
You like that stuff, right?
I guess.
Drex, how are you feeling right now?
I just gacked. Jeez, how do you thing I'm feeling?
Mmm, yummy, yummy. Look at that.
DREX: That doesn't look like Nana's meatloaf.
Oh, of course, it's Nana's meatloaf. You love that.
Oh, that's weird meatloaf.
My stomach likes it. It's good.
Dude, its brains.
Brains?
What are you doing with brains in the fridge?
They're calf's brains.
What was the point of that?
Dude, the point is you're a zombie.
You just ate raw brain.
Stop it. Cassie, why can I only eat brains and not regular food?
There are enzymes that survive after death, but only in the brain.
Talk about food for thought, huh?
This is Matt Marciello and I'm here with Drex Greene
who woke up dead yesterday,
and is now turning into a full-fledged zombie.
I did not wake up dead.
Of course. I'm sorry, that was my bad.
He woke up dead yesterday.
Woke up dead, that's great.
Oh, my God. Wokeupdead.tv.
That could be the name of the Web site.
I'm seeing action figures, T-shirts...
Oh, the goth kids are gonna love you.
You will be the patron saint of the Emo community.
Look, I just want to figure out what happened to me, all right?
Stop filming.
No, keep filming. Okay.
What
I thought you're on my side.
I'm on your side, Drex.
but it's important that we keep track of your condition.
Listen, you asked for my help
and I think it's important that you finally admit that
something is very wrong with you.
And we have to find out what.
Okay, okay, fine. We'll go tomorrow
to that party house and find that guy with the pill,
and then you'll both see
there's a perfectly simple explanation for all of this.
Yes. And one that is cinematically spectacular.
Yes, sir. Absolutely positive ID.
We got the address, sir.
Death certificate was filed yesterday, and a W9 was filed today.
I know, sir. It's very exciting.
We've been waiting for this day for 20 long years.
We finally got one of these bastards.
Oh, I'm sorry, sir.
DREX: Date of birth, Social Security number,
driver's license number, credit rating.
An hour to lunch. The smell of Batten's brains was making me really hungry.
Andy is a total douche, but he's also very, very smart.
So, I'm guessing his brains are nice and juicy.
I bet Barbara's are, too.
I can't believe I'm thinking this.
I looked on Wikipedia and it said that zombies are attracted to brains.
Maybe I'm turning into a zombie.
I did want brains after I gacked on the mac and cheese.
Hey, you drive, I'll film.
So, Dr. Young, what are we hoping to find today?
We're trying to find the pill that Drex ingested.
Mmm-hmm. And what kind of pill could change a halfway decent man
into a full-fledged brain
There is no pill that can do that.
What about Cialis?
I thought this was meant to be serious.
You're right. So, what kind of mystery pill
do you think we're looking for here?
A drug like scopolamine, a central nervous system depressant.
kind of like a super sleeping pill.
Mmm. Sounds dangerous.
Drex, tell me something.
Do insomniac zombies count dead sheep?
How would I know? I'm not a zombie.
Oh, yeah, yeah, I think I've seen him before. Yeah, yeah, he was here.
Well, do you remember his name?
No, and he's not from around here.
He's some loser who bought a cool car,
hangs out at parties, and bangs young chicks.
I've got a question.
Who uses a spoon to serve Doritos?
DREX: Okay, come on, let's go.
Look, I mean...
Wait, what are we doing right now?
You go back to work.
Matt, you want to come film me at work?
I have a bunch of stuff to edit, post.
Here.
What is this?
Okay, this is Kodak's new HD digital video camera,
I literally look more real on that screen than I do in the flesh.
I'm like 15 pounds lighter.
I was pwned.
But it's pink.
Who cares? It's just a color.
You can use it to post anything cool 24/7.
It's a good idea, Drex, so we can keep track of your deteriorating...
Progress.
Okay, why don't you use the pink one?
I already called dibs to the red one.
Great.
Here, let me see that for a second. I wanna make sure that...
Hurry up, all right? I've got an hour for lunch. I don't wanna be late.
Why don't you just quit that bullshit job?
Admit you're a zombie. Do a horror film that I direct.
We'll get my dad to front the money.
Show it at Sundance set it up with Netflix. Yeah? Matt! Stop!
Drex, seriously, if you want to find the mystery pill guy,
you're gonna have to talk to Debbie.
Yeah, I'm... No, I...
You know, actually, I'm feeling a lot better.
No, I'm serious. I mean, that pill that guy gave me
must have worn off 'cause I feel fine.
Holy shit.
What?
That car was following us 15 minutes ago.
CASSIE: Are you sure?
Yeah. Remember when I made that illegal U-turn because I saw that chick
with the huge rack...
Oh, yes!
Well, he was behind us then.
Could it be mystery pill guy?
Only one way to find out.
Hey, buddy,
what do you want? What are you doing here, huh?
Look, he's getting away. We've got to stop him.
That wasn't the pill guy.
Great. Another mystery man.
Plot freaking thickens.
DREX: Tests! I don't know what they expect to find.
I'm not dying, and I'm certainly not dead!
MATT: You're a zombie!
DREX: I mean, I'm talking, aren't I?
I'm awake, I'm alive, I swear.
No loss of life.
Well, maybe my life is falling apart.
I lost Debbie,
but now I have Cassie and Matt.
CASSIE: Are you filming my cleavage?
What? Ew! That's sick.
DREX: And this Kodak T1000, whatever that thing is...
Let's go take a look at your MRI.
DREX: To be honest, Cassie's the only thing keeping me going right now.
She believes in me.
And she's so cute when she talks about science and all those medical...
Oh, my gosh, I'm so pathetic.
You're amazing.
I am?
CASSIE: Well, your system gives every indication of decaying,
but it's not losing functionality.
Which means?
This isn't textbook dying.
Zom-bie.
Matt, stop it.
Drex, this could be really good news, sort of.
You know, speaking of good news,
I actually had some at work today.
It's fine. Mom, it's only been a couple of days,
but it seems to be working out okay.
No, I'm not going to screw this one up.
No, I don't mess everything up, Mom.
Greene, ask your mother what she's wearing. Right now.
It's no one. It's just the jackass next to me...
I'm fine, really. Why do you keep asking me that?
Look, I'll call you on the weekend, all right?
I love you, too. Bye. ANDREW: Me, too.
Yes. It's not my imagination.
MATT: Wait, wait, wait. You thought that guy was me?
Dude, I don't even like IM.
I'm a tweeting kind of guy.
I know, that's what I thought.
And so, if it's not you,
then someone outside the three of us knows about me.
You know, like that guy who's been following us.
Did you videotape it, you know, for proof?
Let's just slow down.
So, you IM'd, but then he didn't IM back?
Wait, you guys believe me, right?
That somebody knows that you're turning into a zombie,
and hacked into your work desktop?
Hmm... No.
Drex, you could have hallucinated.
I'm not crazy.
I didn't say that.
I will. I think you're absolutely crazy.
Look, the whole oxygen flow to your brain is changing,
so some parts are getting less oxygen than they're used to,
which could affect your perception.
All right. So, maybe I've been seeing some things recently
that don't strictly exist.
Yahtzee!
Like the words on the computer.
No, those were real, okay?
I think. I'm... I don't know.
Look, Drex, we're gonna get through this together.
Together?
Hmm? Yeah.
I think this thing is broken.
Oh, there we go.
CASSIE: ...in the nervous system tissue.
Are you filming my cleavage?
MATT: What? Ew! That's sick.
Don't think about Cassie that way.
Oaky, back to work.
DREX: Date of birth, Social Security number,
driver's license number, credit rating.
This is more like it. Statistics.
Think of the statistics, and not Cassie's amazing...
Date of birth, Social Security number,
So much information, you could find out anything about anybody. Even me.
My grades from elementary school.
My first failed driver's test.
My death certificate. Hmm.
Wait, my death certificate?
Got to get out of here. Got to get this straightened out.
Name, date of birth. Faster I finish, faster I get out of here.
Hey, that was fast. Super fast.
That's what I get for waking up dead?
Super secretary skills?
Um...
Andy?
What now, Greene? Jeez.
I'm done.
With what?
My files.
Again?
You must have made some mistake.
Get out of my way.
What?
How?
Guess I'm just a fast learner, huh?
I know what you're up to.
You're trying to show me up.
What?
Don't try to deny it. I've had my eye on you since you started.
I see your game.
Roll in here all innocent like,
and then close up more accounts in half a day
than the rest of us do in the whole shift.
Yeah, yeah, what are you on?
Chinese water buffalo hop up pills?
Guatemalan bat piss poppers?
I don't take drugs, all right?
Right.
We'll soon see.
Ooh, ooh.
Might be for you.
Greene.
Miss Phillips. Uh, what?
Yeah. In the first floor men's bathroom?
Yeah.
Right now? Yeah. Right now.
Yeah, I'll be right there.
Oh, you will. Yes. Okay.
Yeah. Mess with the bull,
you get the horns.
Huh
Yeah. That's the ticket.
That's the ticket. You get away from me!
It's my second day at work, and Batten ratted on me.
That's how I failed my first InfoCorps urine test.
No, they didn't find drugs.
The results were so weird, that management assumed they were a mistake,
so they asked me for another sample.
Cassie, this is the men's room.
Yeah, I can tell. The ladies' room doesn't smell nearly as bad.
Wait, aren't you supposed to be at the hospital?
Matt sent this.
It's cold.
He said he keeps it in the freezer.
Right next to my Hot Pockets?
Don't ask me. He said it was in case of drug tests.
You know, that guy is always talking about his dreams of Hollywood and fame,
and he's just wasting his life getting high and watching porn.
He's never cleaned one dish, not once.
And you put up with it.
You have to learn how to stand up for yourself or you might get
flushed under.
See you tonight.
Oh, you should light a match in here.
Hey, Batten.
Hey, just wanted to let you know that everything was fine.
I know how concerned you are.
Oh, I figured since I already finished today's work,
I'm just gonna take off early. See ya.
This isn't over yet, kid.
Andrew Batten knows how to deal with interlopers.
Yeah. This dance has 15 rounds, pal.
And this is just the top of the third quarter.
It's 40-love and I'm coming back
from all furlongs, I'll tell you that now!
Got to see more sports movies.
DREX: Dead or alive, this was the first day I felt,
what do you call it, powerful.
Yeah, powerful.
Enjoy the night air, buddy.
But soon you're gonna be playing my game.
MATT: We're here.
I can't do this.
Drex. Look, I kind of thought she was the one.
That was all stupid of me but,
I just can't, you know, face her again.
I understand. Wait for me here.
Both of you!
Shotgun.
What are you shooting? I'm not doing anything.
MATT: I'm doing a new webisode called "Zombie Pusses Out."
You think I want to?
Okay, now Cassie thinks I'm a loser.
Cassie always thought you were a loser.
Oh, thanks.
Do not fall for her.
Why not?
What if she likes me? I think she does.
Oh, my God, you're stalking me!
Your disease is what's turning her on.
You do realize that, right?
What, are you jealous?
Yes, I wish I had a mysterious illness
that I was dying from, that's just it.
Here, let me cheer you up. Look.
Oh, baby. Oh, baby. Oh.
Why should I talk to you?
Because Drex needs your help.
Ah, Drex, huh?
Who are you again?
I'm his doctor. Sort of.
You like him
That's not the point.
You treated him like shit.
Oh, and you're not going to?
I hope not. Not like you did.
Look, just tell me who was this guy?
Look, I didn't get all the details, like his name.
But when he took me home from the party,
I saw he had a vanity plate on his car.
Ten incher.
He was so exaggerating.
Like I care.
What you guys been doing out here?
Matt was just cheering me up.
CASSIE: Yeah, I can see that.
Please tell me you got a lead from Debbie.
How about
his license plate?
"Ten incher"?
Now we know why she was hoping on his junk, huh.
What can we do with this?
Well, we need to find somebody who has access to a huge database,
license plate numbers, addresses, do we know anybody like that?
No.
Oh!
DREX: Matt came along but,
I did not feel good breaking into InfoCorps my first week of work.
I was still on probation.
There it is. His address. Downtown.
Oh, this is crazy.
What's the matter with you?
The guy in the cubicle next to me wants to stab me in the back,
my roommate is trying to kill me, so he can put it on YouTube,
the only woman in my life under 60 years old,
probably think of me as a science fair project.
And now we're breaking into my office
so I can use the company computer files to find the guy that...
Face it. My life can't get any worse.
It's true.
DIANA: What are you doing, Mr. Greene?
I knew it. I told you. Subterfuge. Cheater.
What are you doing in here?
Who is this douchebag?
Whoa! "Douchebag"? We just met. That's a little harsh.
This is my roommate, Matt.
Are you gonna let her call me a douchebag?
I don't care who he is.
He isn't an InfoCorps employee.
Mr. Greene, this is a data processing facility.
Highly personal data!
See, I told you he couldn't finish his files that quickly.
He would come in here early and get a head start.
And with an unauthorized accomplice.
Whoa! Looks like they caught you.
Matt! Tell her.
Tell her he's right.
Yeah. No, yeah. I mean...
I'm sorry, Miss Phillips, I'm just trying to do a good job.
Yeah, and he can't drive. He can't.
Because of what happened with him in the accident.
So, I drove him.
And now, I'm gonna go. I'm gonna go home.
Remember you got that thing...
I got the thing I got to do.
Mazeltov on the place. It looks great.
I'm sorry. It won't happen again.
Well, no harm done, I guess.
ANDREW: No harm done?
He's just made a mockery of the core tenet of confidentiality
that this company was built on.
He's dragged its reputation through the mud.
He's spat in the face of our beloved founders.
And wiped his butt
with the indignity of... Andrew, Andrew, Andrew!
Enough.
We don't punish people for working more than they're supposed to, Andrew.
Can't we try?
Just remember, you're still on probation here.
Oh, don't worry.
I won't let him forget.
(ROCK MUSIC PLAYING ON STEREO)
Wow. Mystery pill guy lives in a pretty crappy neighborhood.
MATT: Well, it's gentrifying.
Which means it's a crappy neighborhood with ridiculously high rent.
DREX: Whoa! Zombie heat vision. Rad!
Drex versus Predator. Yeah!
Are you okay, Drex?
No, I'm dying remember?
Let's do this.
If I were dying, would you feel that way?
Yeah?
Were you at a party on Venice Boulevard last Saturday?
MATT: Huh? What's with the camera?
Look, you were with this girl.
Oh, man, is this some girlfriend thing?
Look, I don't want to make a scene about some chick, okay?
You gave me a pill.
I said I'm not talking to you.
Besides, you know what? She wasn't that good anyway.
MATT: Oh!
What kind of pill?
Dude, Advil. Advil, look.
CASSIE: No, he's telling the truth. It's the same pill. It is Advil.
You always carry Advil around with you?
Yeah, I get migraines.
Well, Advil does dick for migraines.
Get some Imatrex.
By the way, Debbie said you were hung like a hamster.
MATT: And hamsters are small, like your dick.
Don't make me come back here.
DREX: So, I wasn't poisoned by him.
Which means I've got nothing to go on to find out who did this to me.
You're scared?
Yeah.
I mean, not by the whole, I-might-be-dying thing...
Well, actually that scares the crap out of me but...
I don't know, there's something scarier that's
been like, poking holes in my brain when I'm trying to sleep,
when I'm trying to work.
What if I'm not dying?
What if I'm becoming something else?
Something bad.
MATT: Guys, you're gonna wanna see this!
Guys! Oh, hey.
Check this out.
He tracked you down here.
Dude, you're part of like a global conspiracy.
They're gonna track you down,
hunt you like a rabid dog.
This just keeps getting better all the time, really.
Then this wasn't an accident.
Someone out there knows the truth.
You go, kid. That's right. You track him down.
Track him down. Do my work for me.
Track him down and I will be right behind you.
All right. Ugh!
Ready?
MATT: Oh!
You're lucky.
Yeah. Mr. Lucky. That's me.
You know, it's amazing. I thought because your systems were shutting down,
that your wounds wouldn't heal, but they are. And faster.
We have to keep Matt from hurting you.
He doesn't mean it. He just gets excited whenever he makes videos, you know.
DREX: We're rolling.
How's my hair
Okay. WUD.tv.
Today we made history.
Scope it.
My first check as a filmmaker.
Yeah, it only took you like, what, 10 years?
Movies made in high school don't count.
You're ruining the shot.
DREX: Dude, you set me on fire. Put me out! Put me out!
Read it and weep. Midnight Express Video, 2000 bucks.
And SoCal Chicks Getting Freaky is just a start.
And you helped, man.
Actually no, you didn't. It was more your ex.
Dude, that Debbie sex video really closed the deal for us.
You sold that?
Dude, watch it.
Why? You can just buy it with the money you made
from my national humiliation with Debbie.
Oh! That is absolutely untrue.
Because I didn't buy it, all right?
It was given to me as a gift by my new sponsor, Kodak.
You have a sponsor?
They really, really loved the low-light footage that I got.
Dude, you know how I feel about that night.
Why would you do that?
Drexel,
I wasn't doing it to hurt you.
I was just...
Just?
It's the first movie
that I've ever made that somebody actually wanted to buy.
Okay? What was I supposed to do?
Matt, just a second.
I...
I guess you were supposed to do what you did, all right. Happy?
If we weren't such social retards,
I would absolutely throw a party right now.
Why do you want to film this up here anyway?
Oh, it's perfect location for a vacation video, don't you think?
Vacation? Yeah.
I shoot. You take a little trip.
Whoa! Ow! Ow! Ow! Drex, you're hurting me.
Dude, you were about to push me off a three story building.
Yeah, for science.
Dude, don't Jackass me. You think I can fall three stories and be okay?
Yeah, you're a zomb...
Uh, it's Drex, right?
All right, I'll do it.
What?
Just keep me in the middle of the frame, all right?
Or I'm going to be shooting you doing this next.
You got it.
This is stupid.
Ready?
Oh!
DREX: Did you get that?
That was amazing!
Can we do it one more time a little tighter?
Yeah, you might want to put a little Neosporin on that.
CASSIE: You jumped of your own free will?
I thought I was gonna have to protect you from Matt.
I didn't know you had a death wish.
I don't want to die. I just want to be
in control of this, of my life.
Good.
Look, you don't understand.
I'm changing.
And it's all because of you.
Really?
Is that a good thing?
Well, yeah.
CASSIE: Hey. Hi.
Perfect timing. Make yourself useful.
So, how was your first almost full week of work?
Everyone in that soulless hellhole is already the walking dead.
I do not want to end up like that.
If that's what being a grownup is like,
maybe dying's better than living.
It gets better? Really?
For what it's worth, I think being an adult is great.
How would you know?
What? What's with all the secret hand signals?
You just chopped all of the carrots and all the celery.
So?
That's like three pounds of vegetables in under five seconds.
Seriously, dude, you look like Bishop from Aliens.
Really? Didn't seem that fast to me.
Of course. Your perception of reality is altering.
Let me feel your arm.
Here, you want to feel mine? I feel sick in my pants.
Your nervous system is firing faster.
I want to set up a nerve induction test at the lab.
Oh, all right. Well, let's do it tomorrow morning.
After work.
You think I should go there still?
Yeah, that soulless hellhole is a great place to find leads.
She's right. That's how we found Pill Guy, remember?
And maybe the guy who's IMing you.
Totally, and Pill Guy, remember?
All right, let's do it then.
Okay. Here, IP
When he contacts you again at work,
this baby will backtrack to his Internet provider
leading us to his computer.
You can do that? I hope so.
Otherwise I maxed out his Visa for nothing.
What?
I'm totally messing with you. It was your MasterCard.
Greene! Oh! Jesus!
What are you doing?
What does it look like I'm doing? I'm hanging up a picture.
Is it of your girlfriend?
Sort of, I guess.
You can't. I can't, what?
Company policy says that putting up a picture of your girlfriend,
makes a hostile work environment.
For who? Oh, for anyone who works here.
For me.
A picture of a girl offends you?
Are you accusing me of being gay?
Because company policy says that
if you're insinuating or inferring that I am homosexual,
or I have an effeminacy to my nature,
or I have a syllabancy to my speech or a rhythmic way of walking...
Okay, okay, okay. Fine, fine.
I don't want to violate company policy, okay.
Mmm.
Who the man? You the man. Who the man? I the man!
Mmm.
I the man. Yeah.
DREX: You know how many zombie wannabes there are in a city like Los Angeles?
I mean, that wasn't really a question,
because I have no idea.
When I surfed for "woke up dead,"
I get a lot of hits.
Ow! Hi. This is wokeupdead.tv.
DREX: Oh, my gosh. I can't believe he put this on the Web.
I'm making a movie.
You're probably wondering why this is dot tv if I'm making a movie.
And you're probably very smart for thinking that,
because some tool sniped the dot com URL,
and wanted beaucoup bucks so I settled for this.
What is "beaucoup," you may add?
Well, it's French for "He's an asshole."
Anyway, so, I'm Matt
and I'm making a film about my roommate,
who happens to be a zombie.
He woke up dead yesterday.
DREX: It's good.
MATT: Dude, it's brains.
Brains?
If you like a little zombie action...
Are you filming my cleavage?
DREX: Oh, jeez. Cassie's in on it too?
Okay, Drex Greene can't feel pain.
He doesn't need to breathe. Better able to survive
as the world's environment gets harsher.
His senses are heightened. He can see colors in ultraviolet range.
I've been trying to test the extent of these powers,
but he is a stubborn thick-headed guy,
where communicating with him is sometimes like talking to a dead man.
Oh, man! Cassie is hot!
I got to find out if I can get all up in that.
DREX: Be nice if I could trust my own roommate.
Right now I am.
Huh.
Yeah, I'm alone but I'm gonna find you.
Okay, Matt. let's see if your little gadget works.
Oh. Hey, Miss Phillips. What can I do for you?
Bay View Medical was expecting a copy of their records this morning.
I did them.
I burned the PDFs to a DVD and had them e-mailed.
They never got them.
Andy, didn't you e-mail the data on the disk I gave you?
ANDREW: Uh, you mean, this one?
Dude, what the heck. You said you'd send that for me.
No, you asked me if I could send it,
and I never gave you an answer.
You've got to be more specific if you want to make it at InfoCorps.
I want you to burn that data on a DVD,
and take it yourself to them now!
Uh, yes. Right now. Of course.
I'll be talking to you later, Mr. Greene.
Dude, how could you do that to me?
I didn't do anything to you, it's what I didn't do.
It's not the same thing.
So, what are you gonna do about it?
Whatever. Yeah, that's what I thought.
Just get lost.
DREX: Okay, now back to my real work.
Now, we find out exactly where you are.
"Sights no one has ever seen."
Come on, come on. Okay.
Southern California. Closer.
Los Angeles?
Found you! Yes!
Greene! What exactly is your problem, Greene?
Nothing. What? I just love working here, all right? Whoa!
Yes. Yes. So do I.
DREX: I can't wait to tell Matt and Cassie.
Oh, you've got to be kidding me. That zombie is so stupid.
DREX: Hey, guys. All zombies are stupid.
When's the last time you heard of like a law school zombie,
or a Pulitzer Prize winning zombie?
Hi.
Oh, hey, Drex. What's going on?
Uh, nothing.
I was just gonna go get some milk. I'll be right back.
Milk? He can't drink milk.
Did he just lie to us?
Yes, he did.
Oh, look at this. This is the best part.
This is when Adam West gets dragged to hell.
Don't touch me. I didn't see you there.
DREX: Pittsburgh666.
Now, I know where he's gonna be.
And I'll be there. Alone.
I don't need their help anymore.
This is something I can take care of by myself.
Oh, you're mine now, kid.
And you're not even gonna know what hit you.
MATT: Out for a walk? Oh, my God!
Jesus Christ. You guys scared me.
You scared us. Drex, what are you doing out here?
I was just...
Wait a second. How did you find me?
I traced your GPS through your cell phone.
You put a tracer on me? MATT: Oh, yeah.
Drex, where are you going?
I found Pittsburgh666.
And you didn't tell us?
Drex, I thought we're supposed to be a team.
Look,
I thought I could figure this out on my own, you know just...
I didn't want to bother you two.
Look, I understand that... It's not the first time
I liked a girl that liked someone else.
You think Matt and I? Aren't you?
Ew! No, in his dreams.
I'd probably be the first woman in his life that wasn't inflatable.
But, Drex, no.
Is that why you ran away?
I thought it'd be easier on everyone.
Drex, I'm not in this for easy.
There's nothing easy about being with you.
I'm here to see you through this to the end.
The end?
Whatever.
Welcome to wokeupdead.tv.
Posting 1.5.
We are about to peel back the first layer of an international conspiracy
revolving around this man, Drex Greene
a.k.a the man who woke up dead.
We're going to see some guy who's been e-mailing me
to you know, get inside my head,
but I doubt there's much more to it than that.
Yeah, there's not much in your head.
Hello.
This doesn't feel good.
Yeah, this feels like a trap.
MATT: Uh, we're being watched right now.
We should probably head outside.
One minute. I hear something.
What, a dog barking in Pacoima?
No, no, no. It's closer than that.
Oh, my God, who's that? Oh!
What do you want from me? Who are you?
You e-mailed me.
DREX: You're Pittsburgh666?
No, you are. Aren't you?
Didn't you ask me to meet you here? No.
If you didn't then who did?
Shit, it's a trap.
What? Wait. What's a trap?
You're not gonna get me.
DREX: Wait. Stop!
I am both frightened,
and incredibly turned on right now. What does that mean?
It means you're a dick.
Yes, that's kind of true.
Hey, wait, wait. I just want to talk.
Talk to my ass.
Nice ass.
She does kind of have a nice ass.
If you really mean that, then that opens up a whole new fantasy world for me.
Keep me out of your sickness, please.
Wait, stop! I'm tired of running, all right. I just...
Well, I'm not tired, you know, I don't breathe anymore.
But if I did, I'd be bushed.
I mean that was a lot of running.
God, I hope they fall. Matt!
What? No, they'll be fine.
I'm Drex. Drex Greene.
You know, the guy whose jaw you just tried to break.
Cut the crap. What do you want from me?
I don't want anything from you.
Why should I believe you? Because...
Because I'm like you.
You're like me.
You must be able to see it too.
You're not like me. No one is like me.
Wait.
Oh!
She should not have survived that fall.
Unless she's already dead. Another woke up dead.
And a smokin' hot one too.
Ah, it's gonna be good for me.
For us. For the Web site.
Look, I like Drex as much as anybody,
but that is not a face you want to put on the side of a bus.
Don't you understand what this means?
Drex is not alone.
It also means zombies are coming in all shapes and sizes, you know.
Drex, did you recognize her? Did you see her around at work at all?
No, but she was cute.
Cute?
Well, cute enough.
Well, if she didn't set the meeting, then who did?
That guy from the IM. Pittsburgh666
Oh, I just figured it out. What?
The Pittsburgh guy. George A. Romero. Huh?
Director of Night of the Living Dead.
He's from Pittsburgh. He shot all the original zombie movies there.
And the 666?
Sign of the devil The anti-Christ. Duh.
Haven't you ever read Nostradamus, seen The Omen?
The new one or the old one?
Either. Both. No, it's not really my kind of thing.
Well, you may want to do some research.
considering we're living in a zombie film right now.
Okay.
I ripped a frame from the video.
Here we go.
I guess she is cute.
And we got to find her. I'm not in this alone anymore.
We got to find her and figure out who did this. To both of us.
Yeah.
MATT: Biometrics is what the government uses to track us down.
Okay? Everybody's on the grid. Here, check this out.
This is a freeze frame of WUD gal.
CASSIE: "WUD gal"?
I'm sorry, that's my bad. WUD bitch?
Oh, yeah, 'cause that's so much better.
Anyway, we put this picture in our computers,
and we compare it to every motor vehicle, medical,
federal, state and local record until the software finds a match.
And by "we" I mean, Drex,
and by "our computers," I mean, Drex's computers at work.
Oh, great.
When you find her, you have to call us. Promise?
I promise.
Hey, buddy, wait one second.
I'm gonna put this around your neck.
What What's with the talisman?
Well, this talisman has a little camera in it,
that I connected to your Kodak Zi8.
Which I can then use to track you down anywhere.
Okay, why do you keep saying the model number and the full name like that?
What are you talking about? The Kodak Zi8?
Yeah. Oh!
It's part of my deal with Kodak.
Okay, stop it. It's weird.
Why are you letting him put a camera on me?
Whoever sent you to that warehouse,
was trying to get to you and that girl.
I mean, if you'd gone there alone, who knows what would have happened?
We have to be able to keep track of you. For your own protection.
And because it's unbelievably cool.
Good, 'cause I feel like a gay warlock.
DREX: So, there I was on my lunch hour,
foregoing reheated calf's brains,
so I could hunt down a woman I just barely met.
It helps that my typing's gone to like a thousand words a minute.
And for some reason, my brain's working as fast as my finger muscles.
Shoot.
Got to finish before Andy "Follow the rules or die" Batten gets back
and rats me out again.
I don't really want to eat his brains.
Oh, no, I did skip lunch.
Mmm... Wait, here we go.
Aurora Hollander. Yes.
The address on Aurora's license was no good. I checked that first.
So I ran it through NCIC, like they do on all those TV cop shows.
Turns out she's been arrested more times than Amy Winehouse.
Five E-Z Marts within a block of each other.
Only two more stores in that neighborhood...
Wait, are you kidding me? That one's being robbed right now.
I think I got her.
Oh, crap.
Fifteen tacos?
What? Taco Tuesday. Three for 99 cents. You could've gotten some too.
Whoa. Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, hey.
Uh, Drex's medallion camera's off.
What? Well, he must've shut it off by mistake.
Hang on. Let me rewind it, see where we lost the feed.
Shit!
The medallion camera's history!
Well, forget about your freaking camera! Where's Drex?
With an excruciatingly hot zombie.
Hello?
Where am I?
You!
Now, tell me why I shouldn't kill you?
Where are we?
Not far from Dodger Stadium.
Dodger Stadium? Wait...
But that's miles from the E-Z Mart you robbed.
How'd you figure out what store I'd hit?
Wasn't too hard. You'd robbed every other one in that neighborhood.
No, why are you people hunting me?
Okay, okay, wait.
One, there is no "you people" all right, it's just me and my two friends.
And B, I'm not trying to hunt you,
I'm just trying to find answers.
Trying to figure out what happened to me. To us.
So, you're like me.
When did you know?
Uh, about a week ago.
I went to a party...
Woke up dead.
You're lucky.
That I woke up dead?
That you had a party.
I woke up in a pile of garbage.
Oh!
I don't care about how I got this way.
I just know I'm going to use it.
For what?
For whatever I want.
What are we going to do?
I'm trying everything, okay? I promise we'll find him.
What if we don't find him?
Well, then you go back to medical school,
I go back to shooting up-skirt videos.
Maybe we can arrange like a med kind of themed one.
That's pretty depressing.
Yeah. Well, we're not there yet, okay?
Come on. Where's our boy?
With our combined powers we can do it together.
Steal?
Uh, I don't know, I...
I've never stolen anything in my life.
You never left the drive-through window
and found an extra order of fries in the bag?
Onion rings. Once.
Well, did you drive back and return it?
No.
Well, no... I can't join you, all right?
I just started a new job.
Why work?
Look at me.
I could show you things you never dreamed of.
I'll bet.
We can take whatever we want.
Tell me, Drex, there must be something you want to reach out and just grab.
I'll have to think about it.
Don't think long.
It won't be very long now.
Drex, where have you been? We've been trying to track you.
Dude, you all right? Did you find her?
And lost her again.
Sorry about this thing. It's trashed.
Oh, that's not a problem. I can fix this.
Drex, I was really worried.
Oh, thanks, I'm fine. Look, you guys, I got to get some sleep.
It's been a long day.
DREX: I feel bad I lied to them.
I know they care about me, but they'll never understand what's happening to me.
The good news is, now I have someone who does.
You made the right choice coming back here, Drex.
My friends think I'm crazy, but, you know I'm not.
Now, tell me, I mean, what happens next?
I mean, how long do I stay like this?
Does it get any worse?
Since when do men want to talk?
I don't know, uh, since Oprah?
He's not answering. That's like the 100th text I've sent him.
I hope you have unlimited messaging,
otherwise your bill's going to be through the roof.
Matt, I'm serious. I want to make sure
he didn't forget about the nerve induction tests.
Maybe he's just working late or maybe he's out, feeding on brains.
Something's not right, I can tell.
Oh, then there's the food.
If I have to eat one more brain, I'm going to join Mensa.
You eat brains? No wonder your friends laugh at you.
Oh, what do you eat then?
Hot dogs.
Hot dogs? Mmm-hmm.
I can only digest brains, I thought...
What do you think is in this
Okay.
Do you have any onions?
We can't digest onions.
How about some artificial cheese?
Sure.
Wow! I totally forgot how much I love home cooking.
Not bad.
Now I have a question for you.
What do you notice when you look at me?
I wasn't checking out your boobs, I swear.
I know. That's frankly kind of disappointing.
Drex, when you caught me on the roof that first night,
you noticed I looked different than everybody else, right?
Yeah, that's right. You were glowing.
But not like live people, like... Like me.
It's part of the gift, Drex. Your senses have changed.
Everything we see now, gives off its own unique energy.
Us, regular people, alarm systems.
Huh. Okay, so...
What other kind of cool stuff can I do, now that I woke up dead?
Do you trust me?
Sure, why not?
What are you doing?
What is that?
What are you... Oh, man!
What
No, it's just a really nice shirt, okay. I don't have a lot of these.
Whoa! What is wrong with you?
Pay attention, Drex.
Oh, you... You got to show me how to do that.
You already know how, Drex.
Teach me more.
We can teach each other.
Sure, why not?
Drex! Where have you been? I've been texting you like crazy!
Sorry, I didn't know my phone ringer was off.
Hello? There's this new thing called vibrate?
I'm sorry. I guess I forgot.
Dude, come on.
Drex.
Drex! Please open the door.
MATT: Yeah, dude! CASSIE: We need to talk.
MATT: Yeah, dude, this is bullshit.
I know the last week has been insane,
but you can't just run away now...
DREX: I'm in total control of my body now, thanks to Aurora.
I'm so stoked to have Aurora in my life.
I'm also grateful that Cassie and Matt think
this crummy job actually takes me eight hours a day to finish.
Makes sneaking out on them so much easier.
The sooner I get through this stack of papers,
the sooner Aurora can tell me all about my amazing new life
and these awesome powers.
Could you try to keep it down? Your typing is annoying me.
I wish you were dead.
DREX: If only he knew... I am.
Drex missed his nerve induction test.
He better not screw me on this.
Those results are crucial for my research.
Uh, the signal on his medallion isn't registering.
That's impossible.
No, it isn't.
He ditched it.
He's obviously doing something he doesn't want us to know about.
Okay.
So, did you give any thought to joining me in the next robbery?
I've got the perfect E-Z Mart all picked out.
Uh, you think I'm ready? You think I've learned enough?
Hmm, let's see.
No small talk, you're going to go straight to the gun, then, huh?
Yep.
You get some kind of sick pleasure out of shooting me, don't you?
Yep.
Drex may have thought he was out smarting us,
but what he doesn't know is that big brother's still watching him.
What are you talking about?
Let's just say, last night I placed a little camera on Drexie.
You're a little too good at placing these spy cams. Should I be worried?
No, absolutely not.
If you look worried, I can't use the photos I got of you in the shower.
It just ruins the mood.
I'm totally kidding. I'm messing with you.
I could still use that footage. Oh!
Okay, let's see something here.
Do you have a particular limb/organ preference?
No, just surprise me.
Okay.
Oh, my God! What was that?
Sounded like gunshots. Hang on, I'll try to bring up a picture.
How did you do that?
I just concentrated on not getting shot.
Why? You don't feel pain and you know you can heal yourself.
I didn't want to ruin another shirt.
I've never dodged a bullet.
Oh, I'm sorry. Whoa, whoa, whoa, no...
That makes me so hot.
It does?
Oh, yeah.
First she's shooting him and now she's...
Totally getting it on with him.
I thought he needed our help. Ugh!
Looks like they're doing fine by themselves, but I'd love to participate.
We're going to make a wonderful team.
Oh, hey. You look nice.
Meeting someone?
Something like that.
Well, hey, wait a minute. You want me to make you breakfast?
How about a brain omelet? Hold the eggs.
Oh, I'm off brains. Thanks though.
Well, hey, why don't we just have a conversation?
You know, like friends.
Um, okay, sure.
So?
What's new in your life?
Nothing comes to mind.
Uh, I really got to get going.
Thanks, though. Well, see you.
Okay. Oh...
I'll catch up with you later.
Friend.
Look in here.
DREX: Security cameras.
Oh, yeah.
Okay.
Wait a minute. We got to be careful up ahead.
Heat sensors.
We're not hot anymore, remember?
I'm not.
Time for a little Drex TV.
Come on, Drex. Think about what you're doing, okay?
Give me a little time to record this stuff.
What's going on? Oh!
Oh, looks like Drex and zombie hottie
are in the middle of a little breaking and entering.
All right. Ready for a good time?
Am I ready for...
What, here now?
I'd love to, but this is not really the right situation
or environment, or...
Oh, the card, yeah, yeah, good idea.
How did you get this anyway?
Well, you're not the only one with secrets.
Huh.
Wait a second.
Card isn't working, I thought you knew this place.
Maybe it only works during business hours.
What?
Nothing, uh, guess we can't get in.
There's one other option.
What...
That works, too.
Um, I think there might still be a problem.
What? They turned off the alarm, didn't they?
Oh, shit, they tripped the silent alarm. They know that they're there.
He's got no chance! We have to help him.
Okay, where's the safe?
Safe?
You know, big metal box, holds money?
Ah! There's something more valuable than money.
And it's right here.
Is this where you work? You took me to break-in to your office?
What could possibly be here that's worth more than cash?
Information.
What kind of information?
Bank safe combination information?
Bank account information? Bank something information?
All information.
Check this out.
All right, let's see.
Criminal records, DMV, NCIC, IRS, you name it.
With this information, people can track you anywhere.
And we can sell the information?
No, it's not about the money. Watch.
What did you just do?
I just erased all records of you.
You no longer exist. You're completely off the grid.
You erased my files?
That's what I came here to give you.
Your freedom.
You understand? You're never going to have to worry about
the police coming after you again.
Oh! If anything happens to him, I'm going to kill him.
Again.
Why would Drex want to hang out with that skank?
Because he falls for any girl who says hello.
You should know that better than anybody.
What do you mean? You think...
You think Drex has feelings for me?
Oh, please.
Does a hooker take cash?
So, this was your big idea? All the risk of robbery, but no money?
Look, can't we talk about this later?
No, you agreed to steal with me.
Okay, I'll tell you what, all right, afterwards we can steal an ATM.
Right now, I just want to concentrate on getting out of here.
Now, if we go at this together, we can...
Forget it, Drex, It'll never work.
No, no, it will. I just...
I mean me and you. That's what's not going to work.
You want to help the world. I just want a little bit of the good life.
This is where we admit we just see things differently.
Goodbye, Drex.
Man, get her, man.
GUARD: Security breach! Security breach!
Get in!
Stupid, stupid, stupid. What were you thinking?
Freaking stop hitting me, I... I don't know.
I guess I thought I needed someone that...
Not to study me, or make money off me.
Someone who'd accept me for what I am.
Of course, in the end, she just turned out like everybody else.
Only wanted me for what I could be worth to her.
DREX: I shouldn't have run from Matt and Cassie.
Just like I can't run from what's happening to me.
I have to accept it and take the next step.
Yeah... What now, Greene?
Two things. My name is Drex. Drex, not Greene, okay?
And B, stop being a tool.
What did you say?
I... I don't know what your problem is with me,
but you're going to stop messing with me right now.
You're going to stop spying on me, clocking me and ratting on me.
Or what? You'll report me?
Um, that's more your style, Andy.
No, I'm not going to report you.
I'm going to kill you.
I will crack your head open like a coconut.
And I will eat your brains.
Are we clear on that?
I said, are we clear on that?
Yeah, I can work with that.
Good. Good.
Oh, um, Andy...
Yes?
Have a nice day, buddy.
You too, Drex.
DREX: My name is Drex Greene. I don't feel pain. I don't need to breathe.
I can see colors no one else can.
My lame muscles have been replaced with way cooler ones
that give me inhuman speed and strength. Life is good.
No, wait, scratch that. Death is good.
All right, car's across the street, let's do this thing.
Why are you so happy?
Today is the first day of the rest of my death.
Congratulations. What now?
Well, we know this isn't just happening to me.
We got to get out there and find out what really caused this.
Find out who else is out there.
And protect them, not just make money off of them.
Now, key word there, not "just" make money off them.
Okay, where to next?
Anywhere.
And everywhere.
Wow! Drex, those were the most unspecific directions I've ever been given in my life.
Well, before we do that, I want to say, I'm sorry, you guys.
Sorry for what?
Well, I shouldn't have hid what I was doing from you guys.
And despite how big of a dick I was lately,
you guys put yourselves in a lot of danger.
For me.
I'm glad you can see that.
Wait, wait, whoa, back up, call yourself a dick again. That was huge.
Still rolling.
Everything that's happened,
all that we've been through together, I just...
I just wanted you to know,
I'm not scared anymore.
No, I know what I have to do.
And nothing or no one's going to stop me.
No, I guess you just have to bottom out sometimes
to realize that when things get as bad as they can get,
at least they can't get any worse.
Drex! Oh, damn it, I missed that!
Can you do that again?
What? He's dead!
Can we roll the bus back?
So, I broke the rule and actually said "Things can't get worse."
And then I get hit by a bus.
Fine, that's on me.
But now, I got to think things can't possibly...
Drexel.
Mom!
DREX: I would have preferred another bus hit.
You know those mom's who bring you chicken soup when you're sick,
and bandage your skinned knees, and tuck you in bed at night,
making sure they check for monsters in the closet first?
Jesus, you look like crap.
DREX: My mom wasn't one of those.
Good to see you too, Mom.
Looking foxy as ever, Meryl.
Looking as useless as ever, Matthew.
Oh, touche.
I know Drex might seem a little under the weather, Mrs. Greene...
Uh, Meryl. And who are you?
I'm Cassie, I'm a med student.
So, you can rest assured that I'm taking very good care of Drex.
Oh, Miss Med Student. Well, you've done such a good job
taking care of my son that, uh,
you'll be able to help explain this to me.
It's a death certificate for one, Drexel Greene.
No, that's a mistake. It's a joke. So...
Oh, you can imagine how much I laughed when I opened it.
I figured there had to be some reason you'd be here.
You didn't visit me once in the four years I was in college. You know that.
Six. Six years. But who's counting?
Well, I'm here now.
And I might as well stay for dinner,
so, what are you eating these days?
Not much it looks like.
Brains. Calf's brains.
Uh, yeah, okay, I've developed a taste for calf's brains, so...
Proving once again you are your father's son.
I might have some white wine.
Now she decides to show up and start acting like a mother?
I don't know how something like him
came out of something as hot as that.
You become more and more disgusting every single day.
I love you.
Drex, explain to me again why the idiot is taping you eating dinner?
He's making a documentary about Drex.
Yeah, yeah, yeah. I'm following him 24/7.
Are you planning on selling these as sleeping aids?
Although it is a bit better than the time that you video-taped
your bowel movements in high school for a month.
Yeah. I got an "A" on that, though.
Mmm.
Drex, you...
You don't mind someone following you around 24/7, watching your every move?
I don't know, you get used to it.
I would say that that's sick, but living the life I've lead, I can't judge.
Thank you.
But it is a little weird.
What would you know about weird?
I know weird.
Hell, your father and I used to live
in a self-actualization fellowship in the '70s.
You were in a cult?
Cult is a very ugly word.
We were merely a group of like-minded individuals sharing a living space,
pursuing a mutual goal of enlightenment.
They were in a cult.
Was it like a naked cult?
The Sleepers were not a cult. They said so at the trial.
Wait, trial?
We called ourselves, The Sleepers, because we were...
Your father and I and the rest of the group...
Would all sleep with each other?
Were trying to awaken our genetic potential.
Uh, sort of.
I'd like to awaken your genetic potential if you know...
Shut up.
Uh, genetic potential... You didn't by any chance take drugs, did you?
Well, what exactly do you mean by drugs?
God damn it, Julian!
I could be living with a Bee Gee, you know.
Yes, you could say I was 420 friendly.
Mom!
Mrs. Greene, did you just come here to upset Drex?
I came here to help him.
Well, why now all of a sudden?
You were never around when I was growing up.
All through school I had to make my own lunch.
And all you ever kept in the fridge was cream cheese and grape jelly.
By lunch time, the bread was purple.
Do you know what it's like to be the only kid in the lunchroom
with a purple sandwich?
Made you self-sufficient.
No, it made me get beat up every day.
I didn't need you then, and I don't need you now.
Just give me one good reason. One reason.
Why I should even keep talking to you?
Because I know what's happening to you.
How could you know that?
I'm your mother. We know these things.
Look at them. No clue.
Like there's nothing wrong with the world.
Drex doesn't seem like a bad kid. He trusted me.
Well, that was the idea, wasn't it?
Get him to trust you, draw you in,
then you find out what's going on with the woken underground.
I don't think he knows anything about it. He's just a sweet, goofy guy.
Sweet, goofy guy.
Miss Hollander, a sweet, goofy guy?
I'll have you know that this sweet, goofy guy is the biggest threat
to the American way of life to come down the pike since the atom bomb.
I've been waiting for this day for 20 years.
This is the first real threat we've experienced
since I was recruited from Army Intelligence.
So you spent two decades tracking down threats to the human race
and now you're convinced it's him.
Yes. Yes, it's quite thrilling, isn't it?
And now you realize that every kid is a potential time bomb.
And what are you going to do, round them up
Yes, Miss Hollander, I am going to round them up. All of them.
If that's okay with you.
If not, I could always leave you where I found you.
I saw a nice alley back there.
No, don't worry.
I'll bring Drexel Greene down.
Yes, you will.
What?
What do you mean?
I mean, that I know what Drex is turning into and I think I know what's causing it.
And besides, I think that I might be partly to blame.